Wordless Wednesday: I Love My Cousin

Monkeys Monday: We'll Miss You Summer Edition

As we adjust carseat straps to accomdate winter coats, look for lost mittens, trade in swimsuits for snowpants and flip flops for flannel pants, lets take a look back and give a moment of silence to our friend, Summer. Good-bye Summer. We'll miss you.

We're Going On A Trip In Our Favorite Rocket Ship.....Part 2

Continued from HERE!

So, Daddy got back to the show just as they're shutting off the lights, tired, sweaty and pissed off. I felt so bad for him. He really took one for the team running around the crappy part of town looking for effing batteries!!

Anyway...the show started and was truly amazing. Ariel sat on Aaron's lap wide eyed and mesmerized. Mickey. Mouse. Right. There. Even though she just saw him in March, this was so awesome to her.

The one thing I thought was weird though was that the "characters" were lip syncing. They were moving their mouths, but the voices were the same voices that are on the cartoons. It was VERY strange. We got used to it, but just thought it was weird. It was probably so the little ones would recognize them.

After the show, we were HUNGRY. There is a TGIFriday's right next to the Center, and that's where I wanted to eat. Aaron argued with me saying that it would be packed after the show. I reminded him that the show was geared for little people and they probably all ate before the show. After much negotiating, I asked him to please just let ME off at the door and I'd see how long the wait was. I walked in expecting it to be full busy. Instead, the bartender was leaning on the bar flirting with the hostess drumming his fingers. They both jumped to attention as I walked in.

"Um....how long of a wait for a table?" I asked stupidly in my neon green Disney t-shirt.

"For how many?" the hostess asked eagerly, "Would you like a high top? A booth? A window seat?"

"We'll take a window seat/booth. Let me get my family."

The service was quick and the food was hot and it tasted sooo good. Ariel behaved like a big girl and it was nice to spend some quality time with just her.

It was worth the time, money and frustration. The look on her face and the way she said, "OH THANK YOU MOMMY!!!" made me melt.

Wordless Wednesday: Halloween Edition

Look at Every Clue Like the Super Sleuths Do.....Part 1

About 3 months ago, I was searching Ticketmaster for fun things when I ran across "Playhouse Disney: On Tour". Hmmm....You've got my attention Mr. Ticketmaster....explain please.

"Well, Ms. Drama." Mr. Ticket said "Your daughters favorite characters are coming to life before your eyes and dancing their way into your heart."

"Yes, Mr. Ticket, but at what price and is my nose going to bleed from what kind of seats are left?" I asked

"Ohhhhh, Ms. Drama...may I tempt you with these 20th row FLOOR seats at the low low price of $33.00. Don't make me remind you that your precious daughter (that almost died this summer) has a birhtday only 2 weeks from the day of the show? AND!!! May I point out that it's a mere hour drive to the fun-ness?!"

"OK FINE!! Here's my credit card number. You got me!"

>>>>Fast Forward to two weeks ago<<<<

"MOMMY!!! COME QUICK! MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!" Screams Ariel from her perch in front of the TV her highly educational fully organic learning toys. "LOOK" she points to the tv. It's a commercial for Playhouse Disney: On Tour. She stares in amazement as they tell her how all her friends from the Hundred Acre Wood and Sheetrock Hills are going to join the Little Einsteins (and Rocket too) at Mickey's Clubhouse for a huge party. They wanted her to join them (imagine that). She looks at me with those huge blue eyes, slumps her shoulders, sighs heavily and says, "I very wish I could go see that" and heads to her bed for a nap.

I stood there at stared at the TV in disbelief. Did that really just happen. Am I like the coolest mom? On. The. Planet? This secret is getting harder and harder to keep from her. "Be tough, Bek...Be tough." I told myself. "You can do it."

>>>>Fast Forward to last Friday Night<<<<

We picked up Ariel from daycare early and left Belle behind. That ripped out my heart. I could hear her crying "Mommy" from the open windows as we buckled Ariel into her booster seat and took off.

As we're cruising down the road trying to decide if we have enough gas to get across state lines into Iowa for cheaper gas, I realize I forgot to change the batteries in the camera. "Let's just swing by home quick, Aaron. " Of course, that was not an option, with our gas situation.

"Oh well...I'll just run into the gas station and grab some batteries while you put gas in the truck."

We proceed to do just that. Back on the road. Ariel now knows where we're going and is getting more and MORE impatient.

We get ALMOST there and end up taking a wrong exit (screw you y.a.h.o.o maps). In the mean time we drive way, way WAY out of the way and Ariel ends up having to go potty, so we stop. While I'm in the bathroom with Ariel, Aaron realizes the batteries that we JUST BOUGHT are DEAD. D-E-A-D! All FOUR of them!

Anyway...we get back headed in the right direction and find where we're going. Still with time to spare even. No time to eat, but enough time to take our time getting to our seats and getting Ariel some nachos organic chicken to hold her over until after the show.

Aaron decides to take off and see if he can find some damn batteries and Ariel and I sit down in our seats. Our. Awesome. Seats. After running through the ghetto, over the train tracks and under the bridge, Aaron makes his way back just as they're shutting off the lights. Empty handed...NO batteries to be found within a 1/2 radius of the show. Unless your camera takes C or D batteries.

To be continued.........

Monkeys Monday: Sisters Edition

They're getting SO big!!

Ummm.....

I've been a huge slacker lately. I haven't blogged for almost 2 months!! YIKES! I guess I really don't have much to say.

Here's a rundown of what we've been doing. Try to stay awake mmmkay?

**Ariel has made a complete recovery from her Crypto and we're so thankful that she's better. We don't know what we'd do without our little bug. A friend of mine has a little girl that came down with it last week. Scary stuff. She was able to kick it on her own though.

**My Ariel started Sunday School a couple of weeks ago. She thinks that she is THE SHIT!!

**Belle is talking up a storm. I can actually almost have a conversation with her. It's amazing.

**Aaron has been working 60+ hours a week amongst all his jobs. Yet, still, we have no money. How does that work?

**I took a MAJOR re-certification test for work to become a Nephrology (spell check doesn't like nephrology) Nurse. It was hard as HELL!!!!! I was totally stressed out about it. I studied for weeks and still feel like I did bad.

**My nephew, Taylor, started school. He called me after he got home on his first day. I asked him how it went and if he took a nap, and he said, "no, but I sure coulda used one, Bek, I'm tired!" LOL!

That's pretty much us in a nutshell lately. I'll try to dig up some summer pics to add next time and I'll try to be better about posting. Stick with me here.....

Pretty Amazing!!

Ariel is feeling much better. She's tormenting her sister, being sassy and singing along with the TV. I'd say she's her old self again.

That was some scary stuff. To think that a week ago today, I could have lost my child. No parent ever wants to think about that. As they discharged Ariel on Thursday night last week, the nurse told me, "If you would have waited another 12 hours, her potassium was so low, that her heart could have stopped and she could have died." 12 HOURS! I took her to the hospital at 8:00 at night. That would have been morning. Morning. Wow am I glad I got pissed off and took her!

Home Sweet Home

Ahhhhh. Smell that. It's the smell of 3 day old food left on the counter. It's the smell of dirty diapers in the garbage. It's the smell of wet clothes left in the washer. It's the fantastic smell of HOME! Ariel and I made it home last night. It feels so good to be able to hang out in my own mess on my own stained couch with my own clutter! I L-O-V-E love being home!! Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers this week while Ariel was in the hospital. They are greatly appreciated!!

Survey Says...

Another really quick update about our little Ariel. We finally got a test back with a diagnosis.

Cryptosporidium Infection

If you or your children experience watery stools for more that 2 days, PLEASE, PLEASE take them or yourself in have stool tests done. It will run it's course on it's own, but sometimes it doesn't as in Ariel's case.

Hopefully (I'm not holding my breath) we'll be able to go home tomorrow. Just depends on how she's doing and what the Dr. has to say in the morning.

Admitted

Just a REALLY quick update. Ariel has been admitted to the hospital. They did a bunch of tests and put in an IV to rehydrate her. Hopefully this will be the road to recovery. Mommy can't take much more!!

Poor Baby......

This is just a quick update to let you all know what's been going on here with us. Starting Friday, Ariel was complaining that she wasn't hungry. That is very not like her, but I had given her a few snacks, so I blamed myself. When she got up from nap, she had an accident, which she NEVER does. So we then knew something was wrong with her. We just kind of babied her and sent her to bed thinking it was a bug or something she ate and it needed to run its course.

Saturday morning, she woke up vomiting. She kept nothing down. I ended up taking her to the Emergency Room on Saturday night because I was afraid she was dehydrated. They gave her an anti-nausea pill and some Pedialyte. They told me if she kept down the pedialyte she'd be fine, but if she threw up the pedialyte that they'd have to do more tests. And they sent us home.

Sunday morning, she was SO thirsty we gave her some warm 7-up and she IMMEDIATELY asked for her bucket to "spit the yuckies". After that vomit, she seemed to be on the up and up. She was laughing and giggling and being naughty so we thought she was fine and went ahead and left her with Grandma and Grandpa. She ate for them and had a Mr. Freeze and I was excited that that all was staying down. Well....when we got there to pick them up, she hugged me and EVERYTHING she had consumed went down the front of my shirt. So it was off to the ER we went again.

When we got there she had a fever of 99.7 and her heart rate was 130. Doctor wasn't too excited about that so they gave her an IV and 700 ml of saline along with some more anti-nausea medicine (and sent some home with us!!) and some Motrin for the temp that eventually escalated to 102.4. Three hours later we were all exhausted and just wanted to sleep. Thankfully Aunt Amanda was back in town and could stay with Belle so Daddy could come with me to the ER this time.

Today, she is VERY quiet, and her temp is down and she is keeping down small amounts of liquid and watching Playhouse Disney in her jammies. We are waiting the results of a couple of tests just to make sure it's not something bigger going on in that little body. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers for a quick recovery. Keep Mommy Daddy and Sister in your prayers too that we don't get it and that we are strong for her.

In All Seriousness

I'm totally a fun person. I hate to be serious too often, but there is a time and a place. There is something that's been weighing on my mind lately, so I guess this IS the TIME and PLACE.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately about people posting about Postpartum Depression and all the consequences of it. I'm not here to give you facts and scare you. I'm here to tell you my story. If I can help one person then I feel I've been helpful. If nobody reads this and it just hangs out in cyberspace, well, at least I got it off my chest.

With my first born, Ariel, all people talked about was PPD and what to look for and when to seek help and not to be ashamed. I couldn't understand how someone with a perfect new baby at home could POSSIBLY be depressed. Fast Forward two years.....

December 10, 2006, Happy Birthday Baby Belle!! Semi-easy labor, smooth delivery, wrinkly faced beautiful baby girl #2 graced us with her presence. She was a beautiful perfect little brick. Eight pounds 8 ounces of pure girl football player. They placed her in my arms and my first instinct was to try to nurse her. She wanted NOTHING to do with that. I tried and tried. She cried and cried. Finally after she was about 24 hours old the nurse offered her a "cup" of formula. She gulped it all down and fell fast asleep. She was hungry. I was starving my baby. This is where it all started....

As much as I tried to nurse her, her latch was awful leaving it VERY painful for me, but I plugged on. We got home and I decided that if she loved the bottle so much that I'd pump and she could still get the milk. HA! I pumped for 20 minutes and didn't even cover the bottom of the bottle. (With Ariel, I could pump for 5 minutes and get 7 ounces.) I felt like a failure. How can I take care of this brand new baby if I can't even feed her. What kind of mother can't even feed her baby??

Still, with resentment, I plugged on. Every day someone new would ask, "How are you feeling? Any baby blues?"

And my response..."Nope. I feel great." And I DID. I felt good. When I think of the word depression, I think of someone sitting around all day crying. I didn't do that. I had too much other stuff to do than to sit around and cry.

I kept myself busy. Baby Belle was COLICKY!!!! She wanted ME and ONLY Me. Poor Aaron would try and try to calm her down so I could make supper, take a shower, pee, etc. WAIL, SCREAM, HOLD HER BREATH. The second I took her she'd calm right down and snuggle in.

I don't know exactly when my PPD started to affect my everyday life, but it took awhile for me to realize what was going on.

I didn't get all "sit on the couch and cry", I got weird. I did things that I would NEVER have done. I became a drinker. I'd get a sitter and Aaron and I would go out and I'd get smashed. Every. Weekend. I didn't think anything of it. I was bored and looking for some fun so I decided that getting my tongue pierced was the thing to do. To be 100% honest, I don't even remember having it done. I remember driving there and I remember bits and pieces, but I honestly don't remember it being done. I was that out of reality.

The breaking point for Aaron to start to question me was shortly after I got my tongue pierced. W were out in our favorite bar (it's still our favorite bar) and I don't know what happened, but all I know is that I ended up making out with one of his friends (who has become my best friend) right in front of him. The only reason I know it happened is because I saw pictures. I totally broke Aaron's heart that night.

My friends at work even told me I was different. My family all told me they were worried about me. How could I have PPD. I was having the time of my life. I was paryting and living the life. Someone else's life.

At times, I wanted to take the girls to daycare and just run away. I wanted to run away from everybody questioning me. I wanted to run away from all the responsibility of two children. I wanted to just start over. Something in the back of my head said, "Do you really want those babies to think their mama didn't love them enough to stick with them?" That was the beginning of my recovery. It was a LONG, HARD recovery, but I had an awesome support system that helped me through.

There are about 3 months of my life that I don't remember. Three months of my kid's lives that I wasn't there. Three months of MY LIFE that I'll never get back.

It took me about six months to recover from and 10 months to admit my PPD. Looking back, I feel horrible. I see it now. I did NOT see it then.

If you or anybody you know shows ANY signs of PPD, PLEASE, blindfold them and DRAG them to a doctor. Don't let it go to far. Who knows what can happen.....

I'm BAAAAACK!!

After a couple of weeks M.I.A. I have returned to blogland. I know, I know. Hold your applause y'all. Call off the search. I'm here, alive and well. We've been very busy and things are FINALLY settling down.

Last weekend, Aaron and I and a bunch of friends decided to take off for Richland Center for Star Spangled Celebration. What a BLAST. Three straight days of camping, drinking, listening to awesome music, drinking and hanging out with friends.

They had a great line up this year. Terri Clark, Neal McCoy, Tracy Lawrence, Sara Evans, Phil Vassar and Sawyer Brown, just to name a few.

Thursday night is somewhat of a blur to me. Yeah....It was hot and the beer was cold. Let's leave it at that....oh and P.S. I'm NOT a beer drinker!

I know what you're thinking...NICE!!! I'm safe to say that Thursday night was my worst night.

<--- Friday night. Much better. See...you can actually see my eyes on this night. LOL! Oh well. Most of the fun was had back at camp that day anyway. That is the day I discovered that my best friend (who happens to be a guy) is an AMAZING cook. Yeah...I know. I'm shocked too.

The rest of the weekend was spent dodging severe thunderstorm warnings in the area. They ended up closing the park where all the concerts were so we were on our own. Which really didn't matter...we had enough to do to keep us busy...

An open letter to my husband....

Dear Aaron,

Seven years ago at a small Southwest Wisconsin Technical College there was a very down girl. That girl was me. My grandma had just had a slight stroke, I hated school, my mom and I couldn't communicate without fighting, my best friend was an hour away and totally engrossed in University life, and they were testing my one and only sibling for Multiple Sclerosis. I stormed into the computer lab in tears. I threw my backpack on the floor and slammed my head down on the desk. I was ready to end it all. I was just looking for someone to talk me out of it. I opened up MSN Messenger (even though it was forbidden) hoping to find my best friend online to calm me down. Then I heard the voice of an angel:

"Bekka, you use MSN Messenger?". I turned around with a tear stained face and found what I was looking for.

"Hey Aaron." And I burst into tears. I told you everything that was going on. You listened with an open and sympathetic heart and told me everything would be ok. We exchanged hotmail addresses and spent the rest of the semester MSN Messenging until 2:00 in the morning. We laughed as my mom yelled at the dog. (RIP Rex). We rolled our eyes as your dad could describe to a T where I lived. As we closed out one night we shared our mutual love for hugs. I promised you a hug next time I saw you...

May 18, 2001 came as any other day. SUMMER BREAK! School was out. My grandma had made a full recovery, my brother didn't have MS and my best friend was home for summer. As I went about my day, I never gave you a thought. As I took Dex lunch in the field, I remembered that I had forgotten to clean out my locker at SWTC. "Dammit" I thought. I don't feel like driving that far today but I paid for those books, they're mine."

I took off. Just outside of Fennimore, my tire blows. Fantastic. There goes my great day. A nice old man helps me change it and I'm on my way. As I pull into the parking lot, I think "Damn there's a lot of cars here....GRADUATION! I think Aaron's graduating." I emptied my locker and headed back for the parking lot just as a boy I graduated high school with came through in his cap and gown so I congratulated him. Just as I put my arms down from his hug, I glanced towards the door. There you stood, Aaron, with your arms out. The rest is like slow motion. I dropped my books and ran towards the door. You wrapped your arms around my waist and hugged me like I'd never been hugged before. I knew I had to have you in my life.

That night we spent hours together talking. Sharing our love for Survivor. Sharing our horrible luck with relationships. Sharing each other that awesome night in the parking lot of the Fire Department. I floated home that night morning and my mom knew something new was going on with me. Something amazing. That something was you......

As the years have passed we've been through so much together. The death of my nephew made me only love you more as you pulled us all together and stood next to me when I could barely stand. You hugged me again and told me it would all be alright.

On our wedding day, we promised to:

Have and to hold

• 
  
  You are all that I have. I want to have you. I NEED to have you babe. I can't do this without you. I love you to hold me and tell me it will be alright.

For Better For Worse

• Finding out I was pregnant on August 9, 2003 was the most amazing feeling in the world. Out of our love a new life was being created. Our world came crashing down around us as we realized we had lost that baby. You hugged me and told me everything was going to be alright.


• March 2, 2004. Pregnant again. We were so scared. Scared to be excited, but also knew we had a secret. A secret that our love had created again. This time successfully. Little Ariel blessed us. As I headed for Emergency Surgery you hugged me and told me everything would be alright.


• April 16, 2006.SURPRISE!! Maybe we love each other too much (ok that was supposed to be funny). Baby Belle had colic and only wanted Mommy. Each night you hugged me and told me everything was going to be alright.


• All those days I came home from work crying. I hated my job. You would hold me and rub my back and tell me everything would be alright.

For Richer For Poorer

• Starting out with NOTHING.


• Slowly paying off 2 cars.


• Slowly getting on our feet.


• When we had no money we had each other and you told me everything would be alright.

In Sickness and In Health

• From gestational diabetes to Post Partum Depression. You've been there to support me. You never let me down. You told me I could beat this and I did. You hugged and kissed me and told me everything was going to be alright.

Love and cherish for as long as we both shall live

• 
  
  I love you with all my heart. I love you with all that I am and all that I have. I cherish every moment we have together. I know that sometimes I'm very hard to deal with and it's hard to love me but my love for you has never lessened. It's only gotten stronger as you support and love me.


• 
  
  I cherish every second we have as a family. I cherish Ariel and Belle as they are proof of our love for each other.

I guess what I'm getting at here, Aaron, is that I love you. I love you so much it hurts. It rocks me to the core. I get goosebumps when I think about how much I love you how much you mean to me. I have a hard time saying it because I guess I thought you knew. You are my number one. You are my everything. I adore you. I appreciate all the crazy jobs you take so that I can stay home and be with our beautiful children. I can't even put into words the respect I have for you. I am so proud of you when you play with the girls. My heart nearly bursts when they shout "Daddy" when you get home.

I'm sorry that I let myself get too comfortable. I'm sorry that I haven't told you enough how much you mean to me. I'm going to work my ass off to prove to you that I love you with my whole heart and never want to lose you. You're in for the long haul babe. You're STUCK with me now.

Aaron, (opening my arms to hug you) Everything is going to be alright.

I love you Aaron!!!

Love,

Rebekkah.

Monkeys Monday: Picnic in the Yard

Wordless Wednesday: Holy Water Batman Edition

Tag Team'n it.

On Saturday morning, after a late night of drinking my ass off hanging out with friends on Friday night, my phone rang at 6:30. I don't know about you, but my house phone RARELY rings at all, let alone at 6:30 in the morning. From ring one, I knew it probably wasn't good.

It was my mom. She called to tell us that her brother, my uncle (duh), had been in a bad 4-wheeler accident and had been air-lifted to Rockford and was now in the Intensive Care Unit there. What she was asking is for us to come to the farm and help for the day so she could go be with him. This is where my family ROCKS!!!

We still had the babysitter at our house on Saturday morning, so we had to take her home before we could do anything else. Since she lives about 1/2 mile from my parents, we got dressed and took off.

Jenn was working, so it was Mom's Saturday to have Taylor and Trevor. Mom had a couple errands she wanted run before she headed to be with her brother, so Aaron and I took our girls and Taylor (Trevor was sleeping. We thought she could handle him) and headed for Wal-Mart in PoDunk. Mom got herself ready so when we got back, she could go. Aaron agreed to help with night chores so my dad was able to drop everything and go with her. I stayed with the kids until Jenn got home from work. The rest of the day we played Tag Team.

When Mom got to her brother they told her he had fractured his Adam's Apple when he hit his neck on the rack of the 4-wheeler. Because of the neck injury his Epiglottis had swollen open (which is better than shut in my book!) and they had to intubate him for precautionary reasons. Unfortunately, the ET tube was highly irritating the injury, so they took out the ET tube and gave him a tracheotomy instead. A more invasive procedure, but had to be done for any healing to happen. He couldn't talk because of the trach so he wrote my mom a note that said "I'm sorry. Please go home and take care of your family." She replied with, "You mean my adult children that take care of ME?! They are taking care of each other today. Like you would do if this was me."

She said he was very emotional. If any of you know Evan* you know that he is the most selfLESS person I know. He would have been the first one there if that had been any of us. Anyway...the doctors say 4-6 weeks and he will make a FULL recovery. The only side effect we may notice is a loss of voice. They don't know if he injured any vocal cords yet or not because there is too much swelling.

Until then, we'll all be Tag Teaming it until everybody is home and safe and healthy. That's what families do. Well....MY family does.

*name changed for his protection.

FINALLY!!!

After several weeks of bribing prodding and begging my baby girl, my pride and joy, my little Belle, finally let loose with the most beautiful music I've ever heard. She said "MAMA!!!" YAY!!!! I'm on cloud nine about it. She also said "Nana" which made Grandma happy too. That's my girl. I'm one proud mama today.

Monkeys Monday: Bathtime Edition

Monkeys Monday: Memorial Day Fun!

I have no shoes and Belle has not shirt. LOL!! Sorry, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing!!