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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Pretty Amazing!!

Ariel is feeling much better. She's tormenting her sister, being sassy and singing along with the TV. I'd say she's her old self again.

That was some scary stuff. To think that a week ago today, I could have lost my child. No parent ever wants to think about that. As they discharged Ariel on Thursday night last week, the nurse told me, "If you would have waited another 12 hours, her potassium was so low, that her heart could have stopped and she could have died." 12 HOURS! I took her to the hospital at 8:00 at night. That would have been morning. Morning. Wow am I glad I got pissed off and took her!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Home Sweet Home

Ahhhhh. Smell that. It's the smell of 3 day old food left on the counter. It's the smell of dirty diapers in the garbage. It's the smell of wet clothes left in the washer. It's the fantastic smell of HOME! Ariel and I made it home last night. It feels so good to be able to hang out in my own mess on my own stained couch with my own clutter! I L-O-V-E love being home!! Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers this week while Ariel was in the hospital. They are greatly appreciated!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Survey Says...

Another really quick update about our little Ariel. We finally got a test back with a diagnosis.

Cryptosporidium Infection

If you or your children experience watery stools for more that 2 days, PLEASE, PLEASE take them or yourself in have stool tests done. It will run it's course on it's own, but sometimes it doesn't as in Ariel's case.

Hopefully (I'm not holding my breath) we'll be able to go home tomorrow. Just depends on how she's doing and what the Dr. has to say in the morning.

Admitted

Just a REALLY quick update. Ariel has been admitted to the hospital. They did a bunch of tests and put in an IV to rehydrate her. Hopefully this will be the road to recovery. Mommy can't take much more!!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Poor Baby......

This is just a quick update to let you all know what's been going on here with us. Starting Friday, Ariel was complaining that she wasn't hungry. That is very not like her, but I had given her a few snacks, so I blamed myself. When she got up from nap, she had an accident, which she NEVER does. So we then knew something was wrong with her. We just kind of babied her and sent her to bed thinking it was a bug or something she ate and it needed to run its course.

Saturday morning, she woke up vomiting. She kept nothing down. I ended up taking her to the Emergency Room on Saturday night because I was afraid she was dehydrated. They gave her an anti-nausea pill and some Pedialyte. They told me if she kept down the pedialyte she'd be fine, but if she threw up the pedialyte that they'd have to do more tests. And they sent us home.

Sunday morning, she was SO thirsty we gave her some warm 7-up and she IMMEDIATELY asked for her bucket to "spit the yuckies". After that vomit, she seemed to be on the up and up. She was laughing and giggling and being naughty so we thought she was fine and went ahead and left her with Grandma and Grandpa. She ate for them and had a Mr. Freeze and I was excited that that all was staying down. Well....when we got there to pick them up, she hugged me and EVERYTHING she had consumed went down the front of my shirt. So it was off to the ER we went again.

When we got there she had a fever of 99.7 and her heart rate was 130. Doctor wasn't too excited about that so they gave her an IV and 700 ml of saline along with some more anti-nausea medicine (and sent some home with us!!) and some Motrin for the temp that eventually escalated to 102.4. Three hours later we were all exhausted and just wanted to sleep. Thankfully Aunt Amanda was back in town and could stay with Belle so Daddy could come with me to the ER this time.

Today, she is VERY quiet, and her temp is down and she is keeping down small amounts of liquid and watching Playhouse Disney in her jammies. We are waiting the results of a couple of tests just to make sure it's not something bigger going on in that little body. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers for a quick recovery. Keep Mommy Daddy and Sister in your prayers too that we don't get it and that we are strong for her.


Thursday, July 10, 2008

In All Seriousness

I'm totally a fun person. I hate to be serious too often, but there is a time and a place. There is something that's been weighing on my mind lately, so I guess this IS the TIME and PLACE.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately about people posting about Postpartum Depression and all the consequences of it. I'm not here to give you facts and scare you. I'm here to tell you my story. If I can help one person then I feel I've been helpful. If nobody reads this and it just hangs out in cyberspace, well, at least I got it off my chest.

With my first born, Ariel, all people talked about was PPD and what to look for and when to seek help and not to be ashamed. I couldn't understand how someone with a perfect new baby at home could POSSIBLY be depressed. Fast Forward two years.....


December 10, 2006, Happy Birthday Baby Belle!! Semi-easy labor, smooth delivery, wrinkly faced beautiful baby girl #2 graced us with her presence. She was a beautiful perfect little brick. Eight pounds 8 ounces of pure girl football player. They placed her in my arms and my first instinct was to try to nurse her. She wanted NOTHING to do with that. I tried and tried. She cried and cried. Finally after she was about 24 hours old the nurse offered her a "cup" of formula. She gulped it all down and fell fast asleep. She was hungry. I was starving my baby. This is where it all started....

As much as I tried to nurse her, her latch was awful leaving it VERY painful for me, but I plugged on. We got home and I decided that if she loved the bottle so much that I'd pump and she could still get the milk. HA! I pumped for 20 minutes and didn't even cover the bottom of the bottle. (With Ariel, I could pump for 5 minutes and get 7 ounces.) I felt like a failure. How can I take care of this brand new baby if I can't even feed her. What kind of mother can't even feed her baby??

Still, with resentment, I plugged on. Every day someone new would ask, "How are you feeling? Any baby blues?"

And my response..."Nope. I feel great." And I DID. I felt good. When I think of the word depression, I think of someone sitting around all day crying. I didn't do that. I had too much other stuff to do than to sit around and cry.

I kept myself busy. Baby Belle was COLICKY!!!! She wanted ME and ONLY Me. Poor Aaron would try and try to calm her down so I could make supper, take a shower, pee, etc. WAIL, SCREAM, HOLD HER BREATH. The second I took her she'd calm right down and snuggle in.

I don't know exactly when my PPD started to affect my everyday life, but it took awhile for me to realize what was going on.

I didn't get all "sit on the couch and cry", I got weird. I did things that I would NEVER have done. I became a drinker. I'd get a sitter and Aaron and I would go out and I'd get smashed. Every. Weekend. I didn't think anything of it. I was bored and looking for some fun so I decided that getting my tongue pierced was the thing to do. To be 100% honest, I don't even remember having it done. I remember driving there and I remember bits and pieces, but I honestly don't remember it being done. I was that out of reality.

The breaking point for Aaron to start to question me was shortly after I got my tongue pierced. W were out in our favorite bar (it's still our favorite bar) and I don't know what happened, but all I know is that I ended up making out with one of his friends (who has become my best friend) right in front of him. The only reason I know it happened is because I saw pictures. I totally broke Aaron's heart that night.

My friends at work even told me I was different. My family all told me they were worried about me. How could I have PPD. I was having the time of my life. I was paryting and living the life. Someone else's life.

At times, I wanted to take the girls to daycare and just run away. I wanted to run away from everybody questioning me. I wanted to run away from all the responsibility of two children. I wanted to just start over. Something in the back of my head said, "Do you really want those babies to think their mama didn't love them enough to stick with them?" That was the beginning of my recovery. It was a LONG, HARD recovery, but I had an awesome support system that helped me through.

There are about 3 months of my life that I don't remember. Three months of my kid's lives that I wasn't there. Three months of MY LIFE that I'll never get back.

It took me about six months to recover from and 10 months to admit my PPD. Looking back, I feel horrible. I see it now. I did NOT see it then.

If you or anybody you know shows ANY signs of PPD, PLEASE, blindfold them and DRAG them to a doctor. Don't let it go to far. Who knows what can happen.....

Monday, July 7, 2008

I'm BAAAAACK!!

After a couple of weeks M.I.A. I have returned to blogland. I know, I know. Hold your applause y'all. Call off the search. I'm here, alive and well. We've been very busy and things are FINALLY settling down.

Last weekend, Aaron and I and a bunch of friends decided to take off for Richland Center for Star Spangled Celebration. What a BLAST. Three straight days of camping, drinking, listening to awesome music, drinking and hanging out with friends.

They had a great line up this year. Terri Clark, Neal McCoy, Tracy Lawrence, Sara Evans, Phil Vassar and Sawyer Brown, just to name a few.


Thursday night is somewhat of a blur to me. Yeah....It was hot and the beer was cold. Let's leave it at that....oh and P.S. I'm NOT a beer drinker!

I know what you're thinking...NICE!!! I'm safe to say that Thursday night was my worst night.


<--- Friday night. Much better. See...you can actually see my eyes on this night. LOL! Oh well. Most of the fun was had back at camp that day anyway. That is the day I discovered that my best friend (who happens to be a guy) is an AMAZING cook. Yeah...I know. I'm shocked too.


The rest of the weekend was spent dodging severe thunderstorm warnings in the area. They ended up closing the park where all the concerts were so we were on our own. Which really didn't matter...we had enough to do to keep us busy...