Dear Aaron,
Seven years ago at a small Southwest Wisconsin Technical College there was a very down girl. That girl was me. My grandma had just had a slight stroke, I hated school, my mom and I couldn't communicate without fighting, my best friend was an hour away and totally engrossed in University life, and they were testing my one and only sibling for Multiple Sclerosis. I stormed into the computer lab in tears. I threw my backpack on the floor and slammed my head down on the desk. I was ready to end it all. I was just looking for someone to talk me out of it. I opened up MSN Messenger (even though it was forbidden) hoping to find my best friend online to calm me down. Then I heard the voice of an angel:
"Bekka, you use MSN Messenger?". I turned around with a tear stained face and found what I was looking for.
"Hey Aaron." And I burst into tears. I told you everything that was going on. You listened with an open and sympathetic heart and told me everything would be ok. We exchanged hotmail addresses and spent the rest of the semester MSN Messenging until 2:00 in the morning. We laughed as my mom yelled at the dog. (RIP Rex). We rolled our eyes as your dad could describe to a T where I lived. As we closed out one night we shared our mutual love for hugs. I promised you a hug next time I saw you...
May 18, 2001 came as any other day. SUMMER BREAK! School was out. My grandma had made a full recovery, my brother didn't have MS and my best friend was home for summer. As I went about my day, I never gave you a thought. As I took Dex lunch in the field, I remembered that I had forgotten to clean out my locker at SWTC. "Dammit" I thought. I don't feel like driving that far today but I paid for those books, they're mine."
I took off. Just outside of Fennimore, my tire blows. Fantastic. There goes my great day. A nice old man helps me change it and I'm on my way. As I pull into the parking lot, I think "Damn there's a lot of cars here....GRADUATION! I think Aaron's graduating." I emptied my locker and headed back for the parking lot just as a boy I graduated high school with came through in his cap and gown so I congratulated him. Just as I put my arms down from his hug, I glanced towards the door. There you stood, Aaron, with your arms out. The rest is like slow motion. I dropped my books and ran towards the door. You wrapped your arms around my waist and hugged me like I'd never been hugged before. I knew I had to have you in my life.
That night we spent hours together talking. Sharing our love for Survivor. Sharing our horrible luck with relationships. Sharing each other that awesome night in the parking lot of the Fire Department. I floated home that night morning and my mom knew something new was going on with me. Something amazing. That something was you......
As the years have passed we've been through so much together. The death of my nephew made me only love you more as you pulled us all together and stood next to me when I could barely stand. You hugged me again and told me it would all be alright.
On our wedding day, we promised to:
Have and to hold
- You are all that I have. I want to have you. I NEED to have you babe. I can't do this without you. I love you to hold me and tell me it will be alright.
For Better For Worse
- Finding out I was pregnant on August 9, 2003 was the most amazing feeling in the world. Out of our love a new life was being created. Our world came crashing down around us as we realized we had lost that baby. You hugged me and told me everything was going to be alright.
- March 2, 2004. Pregnant again. We were so scared. Scared to be excited, but also knew we had a secret. A secret that our love had created again. This time successfully. Little Ariel blessed us. As I headed for Emergency Surgery you hugged me and told me everything would be alright.
- April 16, 2006.SURPRISE!! Maybe we love each other too much (ok that was supposed to be funny). Baby Belle had colic and only wanted Mommy. Each night you hugged me and told me everything was going to be alright.
- All those days I came home from work crying. I hated my job. You would hold me and rub my back and tell me everything would be alright.
For Richer For Poorer
- Starting out with NOTHING.
- Slowly paying off 2 cars.
- Slowly getting on our feet.
- When we had no money we had each other and you told me everything would be alright.
In Sickness and In Health
- From gestational diabetes to Post Partum Depression. You've been there to support me. You never let me down. You told me I could beat this and I did. You hugged and kissed me and told me everything was going to be alright.
Love and cherish for as long as we both shall live
- I love you with all my heart. I love you with all that I am and all that I have. I cherish every moment we have together. I know that sometimes I'm very hard to deal with and it's hard to love me but my love for you has never lessened. It's only gotten stronger as you support and love me.
- I cherish every second we have as a family. I cherish Ariel and Belle as they are proof of our love for each other.
I guess what I'm getting at here, Aaron, is that I love you. I love you so much it hurts. It rocks me to the core. I get goosebumps when I think about how much I love you how much you mean to me. I have a hard time saying it because I guess I thought you knew. You are my number one. You are my everything. I adore you. I appreciate all the crazy jobs you take so that I can stay home and be with our beautiful children. I can't even put into words the respect I have for you. I am so proud of you when you play with the girls. My heart nearly bursts when they shout "Daddy" when you get home.
I'm sorry that I let myself get too comfortable. I'm sorry that I haven't told you enough how much you mean to me. I'm going to work my ass off to prove to you that I love you with my whole heart and never want to lose you. You're in for the long haul babe. You're STUCK with me now.
Aaron, (opening my arms to hug you) Everything is going to be alright.
I love you Aaron!!!
Love,
Rebekkah.
